He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
