And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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