living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
