and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
