You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
