I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize