This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize