Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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