The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
