Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
