You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
