She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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