Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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