Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Boobs speak an international language.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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