I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize