You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
