Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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