IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
