Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize