i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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