So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Screwed.edu
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
