I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
