you're like a bully in the Christmas story
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
PANTIES FOUND
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