you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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