Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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