Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize