Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
