My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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