Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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