They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
