If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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