Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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