I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
