I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
