My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
