I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize