you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
