? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
