when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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