Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
