Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
