porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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