he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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