mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
