Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
