the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
