I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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