dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
