totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
