In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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