so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
