Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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