I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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