He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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