It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
