So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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