apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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