Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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