Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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