I got chris browned last night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Alive.
So much puke
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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