i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize