He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
