your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
