I am puke
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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